Today has been a much better day. I had a long talk with Alejandra last night over a few mojitos. She helped me realize that I’m more than just homesick. Ever since leaving Miami, I’ve been feeling survivor’s guilt and a sense of helplessness. Talking about it and writing about it has helped. The next big step is getting active again.
I’m an active person. Back in Miami, I had three jobs: electric vehicle technician, my therapeutic massage practice, and some part time canvassing and odd jobs for a few green groups. That was quite a juggling act that kept me very busy. It usually added up to about 50 or 60 hours per week. I could have just stuck with two jobs and saved myself some time. But I like to stay busy and I like to have savings. So I just kept learning new skills that related to my interest and could earn me a decent living.
So what I need most is to get active again. I don’t know long I’ll stay in Illinois, so I don’t want to make any serious commitments. But I could use at least a month here while I figure out my plans. Maybe I’ll just stay for the summer and save up some money before moving to a new city or going back to what’s left of Miami. I really do want to go back to Miami eventually, even if it’s just to help with the recovery for a while. But it will take some preparation.
Alejandra has a few ideas about where I could work and volunteer here in southern Illinois. We can work on it over the weekend and next week. In the meantime, she says there are a lot more people and music at the bars on the weekends. I’ll believe it when I see it. Either way, I’m sure we’ll have a good time. We always do.